I went home again this weekend and had an awesome time like always (well except for silly drama, but whatever). I went to see Devil's Rejects, which was pretty good, and I got to hang out with Stephanie, Greg, Megan, and even, Zac, Holleigh, and Jason, which made me happy. I even saw Kelly and Evan for a couple of minutes at the mall. I got to watch American Psycho, play Godzilla on XBOX (that was teh awesome), and even go to Megan's Grandmother's birthday party. Overall, it was a really awesome weekend.

I already miss everyone and wish that I was with them right now. I don't know what it is about (and I have really thought about it), but I just feel so much happier and carefree when I am there. Maybe it's because everything is so familiar to me there or maybe because it's not associated with work. I really think that there is just a difference between the people there and the people here, not a bad thing (people in ATL or SC-- I LOVE YOU ALL VERY VERY MUCH!), just a difference. Feeling torn between two places, like I don't have a home, is like being lost. I hate it, but I don't think there is anyway to fix it. I just (as always) wish everyone could be in the same place.

I miss people a lot right now, especially those people that I haven't seen in forever like Sara and Brandon and John and Kenny and Steven and Kelly and even Arman a little.

I also have to say (and you can read into this anyway you want because I am not even sure what it means)that I still care about Josh and right now am just kinda worried about him (but who do I not worry about?). I mean I haven't talked to him in a couple of weeks, and that is his choice, so I guess I shouldn't worry, but I heard he started smoking again and he is having to leave his house, and he is moving to Charleston, and the thing that makes me most worried is that his dad might be going or already have gone back to Iraq. It would just be reassuring to hear he, himself, say he is okay, even though he probably wouldn't feel comfortable telling me if he wasn't. I wish we could just be friends, but real friends, not just friends to be nice or because we know the same people.

I am still really confused about how I feel about a lot of things.

I don't think I am ready to grow up and deal with a serious career. I don't know what that means about graduate school.

I still want to just be happy at least most of the time and more than anything, just stop worrying.